It’s just hair, right?

A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life

Coco Chanel

I don’t have much hair to cut right now, which is something I’m still learning to deal with. Growing up I always felt my hair was just about my best feature, along with my eyes. It was thick and blondish (always lightening in the sun) and usually super long. Sure I would go crazy and cut it sometimes, or add some highlights, but I always went back to long. When I went through chemo, I feared losing that beautiful hair would have been impossibly difficult. I didn’t feel I had any other features that were noteworthy, so losing the one thing I had was hard to swallow.

But it was actually not difficult at all. It was strangely liberating. I shaved my head before it all fell out, mainly because it was painful. My head hurt constantly after my first chemo session, almost as if I could feel the death of each follicle. I wore a beanie or scarf to work, only to avoid stares. As soon as I got home though, I rocked the bald dome. I would sit and just rub my head, and invited my friends and family to do the same. I liked to joke with my dad that now he had more than me, and “raced” my nephews (2 months and 8 months old at the time) to see who would have more hair every time we video chatted. I loved my bald head, if only because showers were so much simpler and I saved so much money on shampoo!

My daughters both have gorgeous hair. Sunshine has the same thick hair I had when I was younger, and HoneyBunch has wavy hair that just kept growing and growing. They both have been begging for haircuts for a few weeks, but I have to admit I was reluctant because I loved HoneyBunch’s baby curls that have been there for 6 years. I loved Sunshine’s blondish ends that reminded me of summer. I finally made them appointments at the local Hair Cuttery, since we don’t have a “stylist” of our own (yet). They both wanted dramatic cuts, and I made sure to put on a big smile so they wouldn’t be influenced by me and my trepidation. It’s their hair, their body, and their choice.

Between the two of them, they cut off probably close to 30 inches of hair. And both said they wanted to donate their hair to people who need it. This is the third time Sunshine has donated (and she’s only 9!). We walked out of the salon, a pound of hair lighter, with huge smiles and a bag full of hair for me to send off. Both girls have been so excited to flaunt their hair styles, to brush their own hair, to stand in front of the mirror admiring themselves (I mean, they did that before, but now they have new hair!)

So, I’m not sure what life changes they are getting ready to make. They have big dreams and big hearts, therefore anything that comes will be amazing.